Comcast Sucks. Really.

With the ever rising cost of cable television, and the ever dropping customer service and usefulness of programming, I decided we didn't need cable TV anymore. I wanted to keep my high speed internet connection from Comcast, as we leave out in the boonies, and DSL hasn't gotten to us yet.

So I contacted Comcast to cancel my TV service...


user Chris_ has entered room

chris(Tue Jan 22 12:18:44 EST 2008)>I'd like to cancel my cable TV service. ONLY the TV service. Thanks!
analyst Timothy.17924 has entered room

Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:18:52 EST 2008)>Hello Chris_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Timothy.17924. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:19:02 EST 2008)>While I am pulling up your account records, can you give me a brief run-down on the issue you are having today?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:19:37 EST 2008)>We don't use the cable TV service, so we'd like to cancel it. We do want to keep our other comcast services, though.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:19:48 EST 2008)>I will be happy to help you with that today.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:20:03 EST 2008)>Comcast is dedicated to protecting its customers against unauthorized access to their accounts. In order to verify your identity, I must ask you for the last four digits of your Social Security Number.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:20:13 EST 2008)>XXXX
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:20:23 EST 2008)>I do apologize, but I am afraid that the number that you have given me does not match the Social Security Number that I have on my records. Is there another number that may have been used when the account was created?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:21:01 EST 2008)>It should be on my SSN. XXX-XXX-XXXX.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:21:18 EST 2008)>O'Kennon.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:21:29 EST 2008)>Possibly under OKennon.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:21:32 EST 2008)>This is probably our mistake. But unfortunately, I cannot access your account without verification. I suggest that you go into your local office. They will reconfirm your Social Security Number and update our records.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:21:34 EST 2008)>For the moment, however, in order to confirm your identity, may I please have your full Driver's License Number?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:21:48 EST 2008)>XXXXXXXXX (same SSN).
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:23:03 EST 2008)>XXaddress entered hereXX.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:23:19 EST 2008)>May I please have your Driver's License Number?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:23:37 EST 2008)>Just gave it to you. XXXXXXXXX.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:24:00 EST 2008)>I do apologize, but the number that you have given me does not match the Driver's License Number that I have on my records. This is probably our fault, but unfortunately, I cannot access your account without verifying your identity.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:24:04 EST 2008)>For the moment, however, in order to confirm your identity, may I please have your full Comcast account number?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:24:27 EST 2008)>Let me see if I can find that...
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:25:40 EST 2008)>XXXXXXXX-XX
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:26:07 EST 2008)>Thank you.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:26:37 EST 2008)>I can remove the cable, but the overall price of your service will rise by $3.88, and your speed will drop to 33% its current rate. Is this all right?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:26:58 EST 2008)>Why will the speed drop?
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:28:17 EST 2008)>Because with the cable line restricted, to remove the channels, the available bandwidth is reduced.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:28:42 EST 2008)>What will the speed be? 12 Mbps?
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:29:32 EST 2008)>4 Mb/s. You are currently receiving 6 Mb/s.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:30:25 EST 2008)>I suppose I don't have much choice. Under what circumstances would it be 12 Mbps, like the website says?
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:31:18 EST 2008)>You get that speed in burst mode, getting the first ten megabytes of large files.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:31:56 EST 2008)>And after that its 4. Ok.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:32:45 EST 2008)>What would be the effective end date of service for the TV?
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:33:19 EST 2008)>You still wish to cancel television service?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:33:30 EST 2008)>Yes, just the TV service.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:33:58 EST 2008)>I apologize for the inconvenience, but it will take me a few moments to process your order. May I please place you on hold?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:34:06 EST 2008)>Sure.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:38:59 EST 2008)>Thank you for holding. I apologize for the delay.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:39:06 EST 2008)>No prob
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:39:16 EST 2008)>There will be a one-time charge of $14.70 for this transaction, and your new monthly rate will be $57.95 plus applicable taxes and state fees. This includes any and all Comcast services that you now have on the account.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:39:39 EST 2008)>What's the charge for?
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:40:07 EST 2008)>The technician will need to climb a telephone pole.
Chris_ (Tue Jan 22 12:40:40 EST 2008) >We don't have a telephone pole.
Timothy.17924(Tues Jan 22 12:40:40 EST 2008)> What?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:40:41 EST 2008)>Not sure that's my problem, anyway. Why should I pay for him to do that?
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:41:17 EST 2008)>It is the standard fee to downgrade or disconnect service.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:41:57 EST 2008)>Do you have a supervisor around who could wave the fee? It would save me the trouble of writing one of those angry customer letters.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:42:24 EST 2008)>My supervisor would be unable to waive the fee. Should we do so, the local Comcast office will simply add it back on.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:42:54 EST 2008)>Love the red tape. Ok, go ahead, I'll deal with that later.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:43:38 EST 2008)>What date and time would you most like the work done on?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:44:07 EST 2008)>25th or 26th would be good, any time.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:44:31 EST 2008)>How about 8:00 AM to 11:00 AM?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:44:40 EST 2008)>That's fine.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:45:04 EST 2008)>I do apologize; that is on January 25th.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:45:09 EST 2008)>Ok.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:45:27 EST 2008)>I have booked a technician for Friday, January 25th, between 8:00 AM and 11:00 AM. The technician will call approximately thirty minutes before arriving. Please ensure that someone is at home who is eighteen years of age or over.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:45:47 EST 2008)>What would we have to do?
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:46:06 EST 2008)>The technician will confirm your disconnection, and collect the analog cable box.
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:46:26 EST 2008)>Ok.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:46:42 EST 2008)>Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?
Chris_(Tue Jan 22 12:46:50 EST 2008)>That would be it.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:47:07 EST 2008)>Thank you for contacting Comcast. We value your business.
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:47:08 EST 2008)>If you need additional assistance, you can find product support information on our web site at http://www.comcast.com/Support/
Timothy.17924(Tue Jan 22 12:47:08 EST 2008)>I hope that you have a great day.


So, in order for me to STOP using their service, I have to pay them, AND be home to confirm what I just told them I wanted to have done.

I am SOO getting the Dish.

Free At Last! Almost.

"John," I told him over and over again, "That Scientology stuff is just wacky. What good is a religion based entirely on the overuse of paprika?" [see figure 1]

My opinions have often gotten me in trouble, almost as much as my associations. My unwillingness to bow to corruption, greed, and incompetence has cost me at least one gig. And voicing the things others are too afraid to voice has blacklisted me from more than one lesbian wine tasting event (I swear, girls, I thought it was common knowledge. Everyone had been saying it!).

But, upon reflection, would I do things differently?

Hmm. Unlikely.

As my year long period of corporate imprisonment comes to an end (read: noncompete clause), I can finally return to being an annoyance to state vendors who aren't me. VITA now lists me in their resource guide for the Web Standard (Did I mention I wrote the first two drafts?) , my business is an official SWAM business, and I'm listed in the eVA procurement thingamajig.

Now if only I can figure out a way to get everyone at my former job to go ahead and drink their cool aide like good little cultists and get ready for the comet, then the path up the mountain will be clear.

Hear me? I'm coming. And, unless something distracts me, like a computer game or a brightly colored piece of cloth, I'm going to roll over you (generic) drunken llamas like Hannibal through Burbank. Or words to that effect.

Speaking of standards, I've been working on an article on usability and government web sites. So far I've contacted about 15 state government sites. About 6 of them are managed by NIC Inc, including Virginia.gov, who recently put out a press release regarding all the research they did to improve their portal. "Perfect!" I thought, "Just what I need!" So I contacted the press contact associated with the press release and asked to see the data. Her response was to contact Virginia Interactive (an NIC Inc company) for the information.

Several weeks have passed. My deadline looms. And Virginia.gov hasn't even been polite enough to tell me to go to hell. To date, no NIC run state portal has been willing to produce any data to back up their claims of improved web usability. Nothing. Not a word.

I'm doing my best to write an unbiased article. But with my former alma mater hiding under their respective rocks, what choice do I have? If you didn't have the data, don't say you do in a press release! That's covered in Basic Lying 101!

Mark Twain said it best, "If you don't lie, you don't have to worry about remembering what you said."

Maybe I'm just miffed that corporate laziness and greed are making it difficult for me to make my $400. Maybe I'm just tired of being lied to by people who are supported by my tax dollars, but are somehow above the laws that govern the rest of us. And maybe it's just time to stop getting angry and start demanding accountability.

I'm sure I had a point when I began this tirade, but it has escaped me for the moment.