News Flash! Tropicana Creates a Hole In The Space-Time Continuum!

I felt compelled to email Tropicana regarding a concern I had over their packaging and Truth in Marketing. I had just finished drinking 32 ounces of orange juice (120% Vitamin C), and thought I'd look at the ingredients. I didn't expect to be surprised, since the label said it was 100% Juice. I was stunned to see the below, which prompted the following email:

"I took a look at the ingredients for my Tropicana orange juice, which stated that it was 100% juice, and ran into what I can only assume is that "fuzzy math" I've heard about. "100%" in most cases refers to "everything." On your ingredients, it lists "100% pure orange juice," which is good, but then it lists "and natural flavors*" with the "*" being: "Ingredients not found in regular orange juice.

What the heck is THAT? What ingredients, and how can there be ANYTHING added over "100%" of something? Are you fracturing the space-time continuum?"

I'm still awaiting Tropicana's response. It might be that they mean, "Of the juice that we put in the bottle, 100% of THAT juice is juice. But there could be other things that we included, such as pesticides and radioactive spiders, which would fall into the 'ingredient not found in regular orange juice'."


UPDATE:
On 10/14/08 I received the following email from Tropicana. In a nutshell, they can say 100% when it's not 100% because the FDA says they can. But, if I'd like 100% juice that is more 100% than the 100% juice I'd been drinking, they have an additional product that is the same 100%, minus the part over 100%.

Chris:

We're pleased to answer your questions about natural flavors in Tropicana Orange Juice From Concentrate and explain about juice labeling. We follow the FDA Code of Federal Regulations for labeling. Ingredient suppliers consider their natural flavors highly confidential and are not required by federal labeling laws to disclose every component of a flavor formula. However, we can tell you that the term "natural flavor" in an ingredient listing can only be used when a natural food, such as fruits for example, are roasted, heated or extracted to concentrate the flavoring components. Natural flavors are used to enhance the flavor of a product. The amount of flavor in a product is typically very low. Ingredients are listed on labels in descending order by weight.

Juice is still called "100% juice" despite the addition of ingredients such as natural flavorings or nutritional supplements. This is because these added ingredients do not change the amount of juice solids in the product. Accordingly, we believe the label accurately discloses the nature and composition of the product and is properly labeled. If you prefer an orange juice without natural flavors, you'll be happy to know that we also offer Tropicana Pure Premium Orange Juice located in your store's chilled juice aisle.

Also, if you would like to provide your complete mailing address, we would be happy to mail a full value coupon, good on any of our products. Thank you for your business, Chris, and we hope this information is helpful.

NAME REDACTED
Tropicana Consumer Relations

Boys and their Toys

Gee, put that way it DOES seem kinda creey...

I first ran across the Real Doll web site when they first started, about nine or ten years ago. I thought it was bizarre then, but saw how some people would really get into it, so to speak. People have always been messed up (as a sheep about that), but technology allows less and less imagination to be required.

"...it's certainly better than going without any female company at all..."
Um, dude, hate to break it to ya...

And I'm SO glad Virginia gets a mention.

"...I'm running out of vaginas..."
Aren't we all?


(Some doll nudity. Which was a strange sentence to write)

WTF for Today

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A woman whose defibrillator activated one week to the hour after her father died, and recorded the event, may provide the first documented evidence of "anniversary reaction", doctors reported.

[read the wtf article]

ATLANTA - Investigators had not yet discovered the bodies of pro wrestler Chris
Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old son when someone altered Benoit's Wikipedia entry to mention his wife's death, authorities said.

Authorities said Thursday they are trying to determine who altered the entry on the
collaborative reference site 14 hours before authorities discovered the bodies of the couple and their son.

[read the wtf article]

Meta Human Alert!

Can you say "Banshee?"

BEIJING (Reuters) - Hundreds of chickens have been found dead in east China -- and a court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four-year-old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog, state media reported on Wednesday.

The bizarre sequence events began when the boy arrived at a village home in the eastern province of Jiangsu in the summer with his father who was delivering bottles of gas, the Nanjing Morning Post reported.

A villager was quoted as saying the little boy bent over the henhouse window, screaming for a long time, after being scared by the dog.

"One neighbour told police that he had heard the boy's crying that afternoon and another villager confirmed the boy screaming by the henhouse window," the newspaper said.

A court ruled the boy's screaming was "the only unexpected abnormal sound" and that 443 chickens trampled each other to death in fear.

The boy's father was ordered to pay 1,800 yuan ($230) in compensation to the owner of the chickens.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070124/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_china_chickens