Ok, let me start of by saying I have nothing against Tila Tequila. I was one of her first few hundred MySpace friends a billion years ago (I'll take a moment for you to tease me about that. Now we will continue). She's cute as a button (and for those of you who have never fantasized about having sex with a button, I've included a photo), and arguably the Queen of self promotion. She went from being a fairly obscure musician to someone with a global following and a show on MTV. I'm not a big fan of most of her music, but music is a personal thing, so I'm definitely not going to knock it.
But her new show "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" made me vomit in my mouth and want to rinse my eyes with paint thinner. I don't know how much creative control Miss Tequila has, but since it all rides on her shoulders, I would hope she'd have the power to set right what so horribly has gone wrong.
For those of you who haven't seen it, the basic idea is like "The Bachelorette," only she's really hot and - here's the twist - she's bisexual and has a group of men AND women vying for her affection.
Now, a certain amount of campy shtick is to be expected. I mean, it's a bisexual Internet Hottie on a reality show. It ain't King Leer. I get that. But the folks who come courting are just...well...
Either bad actors or poorly programmed robots. Quite possibly both.
I mean, I know there are guys who know so little about romance and women that they think what they were doing was cool, but those guys usually spend their time playing Dungeons and Dragons on a Friday night, not making sure their chiseled abs are oiled up. The characters are so stereotypically one sided that it's painful to watch. Tila comments about one guy that there are "a million that look just like him" which is so very true about everyone on the show. Would it have hurt to include a few average looking people? A few average acting people? Someone who doesn't act like they're starving at a Golden Corral?
Whee! We might get to have sex with Tila! Puh-leeze. Tila's good looking, but she can't be the only hot Asian girl these little stud muffins have ever seen. Throttle back on the dog and pony show.
And, possibly the most horrible and offensive part of the whole show, what if Tila Tequila really does think these are good catches? What if she screened all these well built but abysmally shallow caricatures of humans and liked these the most?
*shudder*
